


The Pilot

by LilyK



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: Gen, transcript
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:42:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28326255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyK/pseuds/LilyK
Summary: A pair of teenagers are killed in a Torino exactly like Detective Sergeant Dave Starsky’s. He and his partner, Detective Sergeant Ken “Hutch” Hutchinson investigate who put the hit out on Starsky and worry that Hutch is next on the killer’s list.
Kudos: 2
Collections: Starsky & Hutch Original Series Transcripts





	The Pilot


    The Pilot 
    
    Season 1 Pilot 
    
    Original Airdate: April 30, 1975
     
    Directed by: Barry Shear 
    Created and written by: William Blinn
    
    Summary: A pair of teenagers are killed in a Torino exactly like Detective Sergeant Dave Starsky’s. He and his partner, Detective Sergeant Ken “Hutch” Hutchinson investigate who put the hit out on Starsky and worry that Hutch is next on the killer’s list. 
    
    Cast: 
    
    David Soul 	   		... 	Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson 
    Paul Michael Glaser 	... 	Det. Dave Starsky 
    Michael Lerner 		... 	Fat Rolly 
    Morgan Sterne 		... 	D.A. Mark Henderson (as Albert Morgenstern) 
    Michael Conrad 		... 	Cannell 
    Antonio Fargas 		... 	Huggy Bear 
    Richard Ward 			... 	Captain Dobey 
    Gilbert Green 			... 	Frank Tallman 
    Carole White 			... 	Mrs. Gretchen Knebel (as Carole Ita White) 
    Don Billett 			... 	Steele 
    Gordon Jump 			... 	Vinnie 
    Karen Lamm 			... 	Patty 
    James Brodhead 		... 	Tourist (as James E. Brodhead) 
    Douglas Fowley 		... 	Lijah (as Doug Fowley) 
    Larry Manetti 		... 	Stan 
    Simone Griffeth 		... 	Secretary 
    Bill Smillie 			... 	Apartment Manager 
    Buddy Lester 			... 	Coley
    
    **Exterior - Night - Field Overlooking Bay City**
    
    CANNELL: I hope we get back to the place by 1:00.
    
    ZANE: Why 1:00?
    
    CANNELL: There's a picture on the tube that I didn't see the end of. Red River. John Wayne.
    
    ZANE: You never saw the end of it?
    
    CANNELL: No. Don't tell me.
    
    ZANE: Oh, what's to tell? He wins. He always wins. Besides, it's on every night this week.
    
    CANNELL: There. 
    
    PATTY: Well, come on. Let's have a good time.
    
    GUY: Thought you'd never ask.
    
    PATTY: Come on. I'm really way past doing numbers in cars.
    
    ZANE: Isn't that smoking illegal?
    
    CANNELL: Yes. I think we ought to stop them.
    
    ZANE: Well, that's what John Wayne would do.
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Frankie's Gym**
    
    STARSKY: Beautiful!
    
    HUTCH: You're late.
     
    STARSKY: Coming down here to watch you sweat is not the high point in my day. Go ahead.
    
    STARSKY: Hey, I got coffee and a Danish. You want to share?
    
    HUTCH: Have I ever?
    
    STARSKY: No, but I keep hoping.
    
    FRANKIE: You shouldn't drink that crap. It rots your guts away.
    
    STARSKY: Mama, I just met a doctor. I think he loves me.
    
    FRANKIE: Funny. Very funny. You're a big comedian, right?
    
    STARSKY: No, Frankie, I'm not a comedian. Try again. Hey, Frankie, aren't you curious about what me and Hutch do for a living?
    
    FRANKIE: I got no questions.
    
    STARSKY: Keeping your head in the sand, huh?
    
    FRANKIE: Better my head in the sand than my tail in a sling. You guys know what you're doing. That's good enough for me.
    
    HUTCH: Yeah, Frankie, we know what we're doing. I'll be damned if I know why.
    
    STARSKY: Hey, whose car?
    
    HUTCH: Mine.
    
    STARSKY: Why yours?
    
    HUTCH:  The suspension of yours makes this thing ride like a rock in a washer.
    
    STARSKY: What are you talking about? I'm ashamed of that car. Hurts my image. Why don't you get it washed? 
    
    HUTCH: Get in. Get in. All right, let's check. Shells?
    
    STARSKY: Shells.
    
    HUTCH: Your Beretta?
    
    STARSKY: My Beretta. Your.38?
    
    HUTCH: My.38. Flares?
    
    STARSKY: Six flares.
    
    HUTCH: Tear gas grenades?
    
    STARSKY: Grenades. One, two, three, four.
    
    HUTCH: Shotgun? 
    
    STARSKY: Shotgun. Racked and loaded.
    
    HUTCH: Two radios?
    
    STARSKY: Two radios with fresh batteries. It's all right?
    
    HUTCH: It's all right. Flashlight?
    
    STARSKY: One flashlight.
    
    HUTCH: And the book?
    
    STARSKY: And the book.
    
    HUTCH: Okay, let's get out of here.
    
    STARSKY: Zebra 3 here.
    
    POLICE DISPATCHER: Go ahead, Zebra 3.
    
    STARSKY: Show us out and about at 1600 hours.
    
    POLICE DISPATCHER: Ten-four, Zebra 3.
    
    HUTCH: How'd it go with Cindy last night?
    
    STARSKY: Acceptable. Acceptable. You're still seeing what's-her-name?
    
    HUTCH: Sure. Still seeing what's-her-name. Took her to the whatchamacallit
    and gave her my thingamajig.
    
    STARSKY: I didn't know it was that serious.
    
    HUTCH: It's not. But that might be.
    
    STARSKY: Hm. Well, that's a familiar face. Coley.
    
    HUTCH: I thought he was in the jug one to five.
    
    STARSKY: Coley, Coley, Coley, Coley. "Was" is the word. Paroled two months ago. 
    Put that in your pocket, you'll pull out a stump.
    
    COLEY: What are you two doing around here?
    
    HUTCH: We work here, Coley. Only our work is legal. Now, why don't you give that nice man back his wallet?
    
    COLEY: Pardon me, sir. Did you drop your wallet?
    
    TOURIST: Oh, yeah. Hey, this is mine.
    
    HUTCH: Let's take a walk.
    
    TOURIST: Let me give you something.
    
    HUTCH: No. no. Keep it.
    
    TOURIST: Thank you. Thank you. Hey, how about that? A great big city like this...
    
    HUTCH: I thought we had an understanding, Coley. You disappointed me.
    
    STARSKY: You promised you'd never work in our district while we were here.
    
    HUTCH: Now, why did you go back on your word? It's not nice to go back on your word, Coley. All right, spread them out. You know how to do this. That's immoral, Coley. I would hate to close the door on our relationship.
    
    COLEY: Come on, fellas, let me go, huh? Now, I promise, I won't work your district at all. Straight. Okay? I promise. It'll take you a whole day to book me. Why waste your time, a whole day to book a two-bit canner like me? You don't wanna do that, do you?
    
    STARSKY: Coley? Next time you put your hand in somebody else's pocket the two of you better be engaged.
    
    COLEY: Ain't today the 17th?
    
    STARSKY: All day, Coley. Somebody's birthday?
    
    COLEY: No.
    
    STARSKY: Coley must be taking hormone shots. He never would have crossed us like that a year ago.
    
    HUTCH: What's with this date thing? Since when did it make any difference to Coley what day he picked a pocket?
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Precinct**
    
    DOBEY: I'm here. 
    
    HENDERSON: Captain Dobey, I appreciate your coming down here on your day off.
    
    DOBEY: Oh, don't misunderstand, Counsellor. I'm here, but I am not happy. I was enjoying doing what I was doing when I got your call, and my son was enjoying it too.
    
    HENDERSON: Well, I don't know if I can make you happy, Captain, but I doubt that you'll be bored. It concerns two of your men. Detectives Starsky and Hutchinson.
    
    DOBEY: Yeah, what about Starsky and Hutch?
    
    HENDERSON: Well, our office has reason to believe that someone is trying to kill them.
    
    
    **Exterior - Night - In The Torino**
    
    HUTCH: All right, what's bugging you?
    
    STARSKY: I'm starting to feel like salt in the sugar bowl. Still can't get over Coley. How surprised he was to see us. He ain't the only one. That hooker on Third. Creepy Charlie and the other one. They all acted like we were from another planet.
    
    HUTCH: Maybe somebody put the word out that we got transferred.
    
    STARSKY: Hey, everybody can't think we were transferred.
    
    HUTCH: Maybe not, but check 2:00. Fat Rolly thinks so. 
    
    STARSKY: Spotted us and took right off. You think we've got ring around the collar?
    
    HUTCH: Might be the same thing that got everybody else so uptight.
    
    POLICE DISPATCHER: Zebra 3, come in please. Zebra 3, come in.
    
    STARSKY: What do they want?
    
    HUTCH: Zebra 3 here. What is it?
    
    DISPATCHER: Zebra 3, the following from Captain Dobey. He wants you back in here, urgent and immediate.
    
    STARSKY: Dispatch, you'd better say that again. Our radio's been acting up.
    
    DISPATCHER: Roger, Zebra 3.
    
    STARSKY: Sometimes we can't hardly make out a thing.
    
    DISPATCHER: Zebra 3, I repeat...
    
    HUTCH: Hey, how's it going, Rolly?
    
    ROLLY: Great, Hutch. Yeah, super sensational. How's it going with you guys?
    
    STARSKY: Fine, Rolly, fine. Here's your dime.
    
    ROLLY: Thanks.
    
    STARSKY: So anxious to talk to us, you couldn't wait to finish your conversation.
    
    ROLLY: Yeah. Well, I forgot the number.
    
    HUTCH: In the middle of dialling? That's a little unusual, isn't it, Rolly?
    
    STARSKY: Dig that. I mean, I can take looks like this from one or two people,
    but this is getting out of hand. All right, folks. All right. It's time we set up some new lines of communication here. Now, you all know me and Hutch.
    That's Hutch over there with Fat Rolly. And you all know we're cops. And we know you know. And we know that you don't like us, but, gang, that's the way it is.
    
    HUTCH: Come here, green eyes.
    
    STARSKY: So all day long, everybody's been looking at us like we were Lazarus the day after and it's starting to get to us. You follow? So that's the question. What's so special about two cops patrolling the same district they've been patrolling for the past three years? Now, somebody in here has got the answer. 
    
    HUTCH: Come on, wake up. Wake up.
    
    STARSKY: And that's what we wanna find out. You see? So... Thank you. 
    Charlie. If you would be good enough to write down what you think might be the answer. No names are necessary, 25 words or less will do. Neatness and originality will be taken into consideration.
    
    PATRON: What's for first prize?
    
    STARSKY: A hundred thousand units of penicillin, sweetheart. Share it with your friends.
    
    HUTCH: You know, Starsk, we'll close this place down we don't get what we're looking for.
    
    BARTENDER: Close it down? On what grounds?
    
    HUTCH: Public Safety Code 2377, says every open sewer needs a manhole cover. Thank you. All right, folks, time's up.
    
    STARSKY: Thank you, blondie. Very good. Does your mommy know you use language like this? Thanks for the pencil, Charlie. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, everybody's being so nice. Here you go, Rolly. Well, let's see what we've got here. 
    French. That's good. 
    
    HUTCH: What is this, a bus stop?
    
    STARSKY: Here it is. Pay dirt. Says I was supposed to have been wasted last night.
    
    HUTCH: Yeah, it says it in ink, just like the pen I loaned Fat Rolly.
    
    ROLLY: Really? What are you guys pulling? You said no names.
    
    HUTCH: I didn't say that. He said it.
    
    STARSKY: You win first prize, dumbo. Come on. Okay, Rolly, who was supposed to kill me?
    
    ROLLY: I don't know, Starsky. On my mother's life, I don't know.
    
    STARSKY: You don't have a mother. You were found in a garbage can behind Weight Watchers. Again, who?
     
    ROLLY: I don't know. Really. Just that everybody heard that there was a contract out on you. It was supposed to be last night. I don't know who or when or where. Just... You know, just a rumour.
    
    STARSKY: Yeah.
    
    HUTCH: Why don't you have a drink. Go on.
    
    ROLLY: Thanks, Hutch.
    
    HUTCH: You know something, Starsk? I don't think he's being honest with us.
    
    STARSKY: No. Really?
    
    ROLLY: Would I lie to you guys?
    
    HUTCH: I don't know, because when you saw us, you headed straight for that phone. And I sure as hell would like to know who you were talking to.
    
    ROLLY: Yeah, I was calling my bookie.
    
    ROLLY: Yeah? Have another drink.
    
    STARSKY: What were you betting on?
    
    ROLLY: Basketball game. Lakers and Knicks.
    
    STARSKY: What kind of spread did he give you?
    
    ROLLY: Knicks, plus four.
    
    STARSKY: Not bad. 
    
    HUTCH: How'd you know that when you didn't complete the call? You know, there's something you ought to know about Starsky and me. We're not like most partners. You know, usually, there's the one guy who's kind of folksy, who wants the best for everybody. The Pat O'Brien kind of guy. And then there's the other guy. The rough-them-up, hard-nosed kind of guy. Well, that doesn't work for Starsky and me. See, we're both hard-nosed, Rolly, and we don't like it when people don't give us everything we want.
    
    ROLLY: I'm telling you all that I'm gonna tell you.
    
    HUTCH: Okay, Rolly. I'm afraid we have to put you under arrest.
    
    ROLLY: Under arrest? What for?
    
    HUTCH: Public drunkenness. You've had over six scotches in five minutes. Get over here!
    
    ROLLY: Come on, huh?
    
    
    **Interior - Night - Precinct Parking Garage**
    
    STARSKY: That didn't take long. You'd think he was being booked for the first time. Screamed like a pig.
    
    HUTCH: Hey, Starsk.
    
    STARSKY: What? Hey, that's just like my car.
    
    HUTCH: It's no wonder they were surprised to see you. 
    
    STARSKY Looks like they got it point-blank. Sure didn't take any chances on missing. That is a stinking crime.
    
    HUTCH: Trying to kill you, you mean?
    
    STARSKY: Yeah. Not to mention screwing up a great car like that.
    
    
    **Interior - Night - Dobey's Office**
    
    HENDERSON: We have reason to believe someone tried to kill Starsky last night. And according to the Internal Affairs report, the Torino was stolen in the Ottawa Hills section of town and then driven out to the beach where the murders occurred.
    
    OFFICER: It's the IA's contention that they spotted the car and thought Starsky here was out with a girl. He has that reputation, as we all know. And then they followed the Torino and killed the two young people, thinking they were getting Starsky.
    
    HUTCH: Wait a minute. Who is "they"?
    
    HENDERSON: Someone hired by Frank Tallman to stop you from testifying against him at the trial Wednesday morning. I know it sounds like a long shot just because the car involved was the same as Starsky here drives.
    
    HUTCH: I'm Hutch. He's Starsky.
    
    DOBEY: Well, anyway, what Henderson is trying to point out is, you're not the only one to drive that kind of car.
    
    STARSKY: No, I'm not, but it's not exactly a Model T either. Not with that paint job and the shocks that set it up on its nose more than most. I'd say it might be a case of mistaken identity but it wouldn't be Tallman.
    
    STEELE: Together, your testimony can convict him of eight counts of bribery. Isn't that sufficient motive?
    
    HUTCH: Yeah, I think that's sufficient. I also think he's sufficiently bright
    not to try to get at us that way.
    
    STEELE: Then who else?
    
    HUTCH: Who else?
    
    STARSKY: Who else?
    
    HUTCH: The Coleman brothers. They'd mulch us if they got the chance.
    
    STARSKY: Hey, what about that guy with the bad breath, you know, with the (inaudible) leg?
    
    HUTCH: Yeah, yeah. Pucker. Pucker.
    
    STARSKY: Pucker. He'd take a shot.
    
    STARSKY: What about the Clancy brothers? They might take a crack at splashing us again.
    
    HUTCH: And Poindexter...
    
    DOBEY: All right, knock it off. 
    
    IA OFFICER: One thing is definite. I want you two off the street till after Tallman's trial, for your own good. 
    
    DOBEY: Look, counsellor, our department has a schedule to meet too. Maybe you don't know that. There's a lot of places these guys got to be. For openers, we have a very important narco stakeout to run and it's taken six months to set it up. And besides all that, I'll tell my men in this department when to go, and I'll tell them where.
    
    HENDERSON: Now, look, Captain...
    
    DOBEY: Yeah?
    
    STARSKY: And you said he was just another pretty face.
    
    DOBEY: All right, I'll tell him that. The drunk you just busted, the
    bondsman is processing him out now. Mike said you wanted to know about it.
    
    HUTCH: I'll cover him. Let's exchange cars. You get your car. 
    Nice to have met you, Mr. Henderson. And Lieutenant Steele, always a laugh talking to you.
    
    HENDERSON: Now, wait... Just a minute!
    
    STARSKY: Will that be all?
    
    DOBEY: Yeah.
    HENDERSON: May I ask why you're changing cars?
    
    STARSKY: Sure. To let whoever it is know that it didn't work. Hey. You see, what you guys don't realize is that Hutch and me are willing to get burned out in the street, but it would hurt like hell if we lost sitting on our tails.
    
    
    **Interior - Night - Police Precinct**
    
    HUTCH: Yeah, who's this? Charlie, I wanna leave a message for Huggy Bear. Would you tell him that Starsky and Hutch wanna see him tomorrow night? Yeah. No, he'll know where and when. That's Hutch and Starsky. Thank you. Calling your bookie again, Rolly?
    
    ROLLY: No, no. Calling my mother. I wanted her to know I might be a little bit late for din-din.
    
    
    **Interior - Night - Police Parking Garage**
    
    STARSKY: What's wrong?
    
    HUTCH: I don't know. It's like when I was married. Nancy and I'd go out,
    and we'd leave the house. She'd go running back, sure she'd left the water running or something.
    
    STARSKY: And?
    
    HUTCH: And I get that feeling about Fat Rolly. He did something. He said something that wasn't right. And I'll be damned if I know what it is, but I saw it. I was there, and I saw it.
    
    STARSKY: Fix my mirror, will you?
    
    HUTCH: Yeah.
    
    
    **Interior - Night - Cannell/Zane Hotel Room**
     
    ROLLY: Hello? 
    
    ZANE: Hello.
    
    ROLLY: It's Me. I've got more instructions.
    
    ZANE: Yeah?
    
    ROLLY: You've got to do it one more time.
    
    ZANE: When?
    
    ROLLY: I'll tell you... I'll tell you when and where later. 
    
    ZANE: All right. You got it.
    
    ROLLY: All right. Bye-bye.
    
    ZANE: You'd better stop packing. We gotta do it again.
    
    CANNELL: We gotta do it again?
    
    ZANE: Yeah, we gotta do it again.
    
    
    Exterior - Day - Alley
    
    HUTCH: Not much of a take today, huh, Lijah?
    
    LIJAH: Not enough to keep body and soul together.
    
    HUTCH: Yeah, well, I guess there's not a lot of people like to think the end of the world is coming.
    
    LIJAH: I think it's already happened, brother, and we're all in hell.
    
    HUTCH: Lijah? Just in case, put in a good word for us, will you?
    
    LIJAH: You didn't have to do that.
    
    HUTCH:I know. 
    
    STARSKY: Take it easy, Lijah.
    
    LIJAH: Charles? Charles? I'll buy you some coffee, Charles. I'll treat you to some coffee.  
    
    (Starsky and Hutch in the Torino.)
    
    STARSKY: It's a toilet bowl. That's what it is. 
    
    HUTCH: What are you talking about?
    
    STARSKY: This. What we do, where we do it. You and me are like little bugs, waiting to crawl out and every time we try, someone flushes.
    
    HUTCH: Yeah, well, you and me can be thankful that we're a couple of bugs who know how to swim.
    
    STARSKY: Yeah. Especially since we got a shark on our tail.
    
    HUTCH: You think he's following us?
    
    STARSKY: Let's find out.
    
    HUTCH: How about that alley?
    
    STARSKY: That's a fine idea, Ollie. 
    
    HUTCH: He's still with us.
    
    STARSKY: He probably wants to make friends. 
    
    (Chase ensues.) 
    
    STARSKY: The driver, Hutch! The driver!
    
    HUTCH: Get out of there.
    
    STARSKY: Come out here. Come out here. Who are you and what do you want?
     
    MUSCLE: Take it easy. He's got a message for you.
    
    STARSKY: What? 
    
    MUSCLE TWO: Tallman wants to meet with you.
    
    STARSKY: When? Why?
    
    MUSCLE: I don't know why, but the when is now.
    
    STARSKY: Quiet!
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Tallman Residence**
    
    HUTCH: Is this the Tallman residence?
    
    STARSKY: We're Starsky and Hutch. We've got an appointment with Mr. Tallman. He's Hutch. I'm Starsky.
    
    HUTCH: Hello. I'm Mr. Hutchinson. This is Mr. Starsky. We're expected.
    
    WOMAN: This way, please.
    
    JOSEPH: All right, that's far enough.
    
    WOMAN: Joseph, Mr. Starsky and Mr. Hutchinson. Won't you please take off your clothes?
    
    HUTCH: Why do we have to take off our clothes?
    
    WOMAN: Because Mr. Tallman is in the steam bath and he expects you to join him there.
    
    JOSEPH: See, if you got no clothes on Mr. Tallman knows you're not wired for sound. He doesn't like people who are wired for sound.
    
    HUTCH: Well, there goes his political career.
    
    JOSEPH: If you don't mind, we'll just take your hardware.
    
    (Fight ensues.) 
    
    STARSKY: Not nice, Joseph. Not nice. Now, tell me, where is this steam room?
    
    JOSEPH: Door three.
    
    STARSKY: Thank you.
    
    HUTCH: You know, my mother always used to tell me to wear clean underwear in case I was ever in an accident so I wouldn't shock the nurses. As I recall, this particular situation didn't enter into the conversation.
    
    SECOND WOMAN: Would either of you like anything to drink?
    
    HUTCH: No, thank you, ma'am. We're on duty.
    
    SECOND WOMAN: Couldn't tell, honey. You ain't wearing a badge.
    
    TALLMAN: Nice, huh? You see? Crime does pay.
    
    HUTCH: Mr. Tallman?
    
    TALLMAN: Yeah.
    
    HUTCH: Mr. Tallman, does it pay enough to make you want to kill us?
    
    TALLMAN: No, but crime creates wealth, and wealth begets envy. Someone who envies me is attempting to frame me with your murder.
    
    STARSKY: Well, we haven't been murdered yet, so you're in the clear.
    
    TALLMAN: I know. I know, but they'll try again. Cigar?
    
    STARSKY: No, thanks.
    
    HUTCH: No, thank you very much.
    
    TALLMAN: Havana.
    
    STARSKY: No.
    
    TALLMAN: Yes, they'll try again. Sometime today, tonight. Because if they kill you after the trial, I don't have a motive and they can't frame me. And that's what this is really all about.
    
    HUTCH: In other words, we'll be dead, and you'll be the injured party?
    
    TALLMAN: Exactly.
    
    HUTCH: But, Mr. Tallman, you know damn well that if we testify against you in court tomorrow, you're in for a very heavy fall.
    
    TALLMAN: Not really. Let me tell you how it will work. If you testify, I will be found guilty because, as we all know, I am guilty. But then my lawyers will ask
    the judge to fix bail which will be an outrageous sum. But not so outrageous
    that I couldn't pay it, so I'll be home in time for cocktails. Then my lawyers will appeal and the appeal will be denied. Then they will appeal higher up, then that appeal will be denied. Very shortly, this case will drag through the courts for five or six years. Now, I'm 61. I have high blood pressure. My father died at 58. By any actuarial projections, I won't make it to 65. So you see, the courts will find me guilty two years after I'm dead. I think I'll be able to weather the disgrace of it all.
    
    STARSKY: So help us stay alive, so you don't get framed. Tell me, you know a team, hit men, two guys who work together at point-blank range?
    
    TALLMAN: Yes, I do. 
    
    STARSKY: What are their names?
    
    TALLMAN: Ah, no, no, no, no, no. I wouldn't give you their names. They didn't do it because if they did, you'd be dead.
    
    STARSKY: You're that sure?
    
    TALLMAN: That sure and more. So why don't you spend the night here, and tomorrow morning we'll have a big breakfast and go to the trial together? And there's no way they could blame me for your murder.
    
    HUTCH: Thank you very much, Mr. Tallman, but we've got appointments.
    
    TALLMAN: Gentlemen, are these appointments worth dying for?
    
    STARSKY: Even dying's a living.
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Cannell/Zane Hotel Room**
    
    ROLLY (on phone): Yes, sir. Yeah. They're all ready. Yeah. Right.
    
    CANNELL: Move over.
    
    ROLLY: Yeah, okay. Hold on. 423 North Elm. I got it. Okay. (To hitmen): All right, they're all yours.
    
    CANNELL: Right now? Oh, jeez. I'm never gonna see the end of this picture.
    
    ZANE: Are you sure they're gonna be there?
    
    ROLLY: Are you kidding? Starsky and Hutch miss a narco bust?
    
    Listen, Cannell. Listen to this. Thy hand, great Anarch,  Lets the curtain fall, And universal darkness buries all. 
    
    CANNELL: That's terrific.
    
    ZANE: It's Voltaire, 1744.
    
    ROLLY: I knew that.
    
    
    **Exterior - Night - Diplomat Apartments**
    
    STARSKY: Gesundheit.
    
    HUTCH: Thanks. What's he doing, Starsky?
    
    STARSKY: Looks like he's waiting for somebody. 
    
    HUTCH: Well, so are we. Hey, remind me to thank Dobey for keeping us on the streets. 
    
    STARSKY: He didn't say anything about monsoons, that fink.
    
    HUTCH: How about that IA creep, Steele? Now, there's a beaut. I'll bet he's smart enough to stay out of this rain.
    
    STARSKY: Ten'll get you 20 he's in some doll's house, warm and snug, like our friend up on the second floor there.
    
    HUTCH: You think he's got the stuff up there?
    
    STARSKY: If he does, we can't prove it or get cause to get a warrant. We've gotta nail him with it.
    
    HUTCH: Well, I hope it's soon, buddy. I think I'm shrinking. Whoo. Hey, look at those legs.
    
    HUTCH: Where? Oh, yeah.
    
    WOMAN (walking dog): Come on, I'm taking you to your favourite tree. Oh, it's freezing.
    
    STARSKY: The ugly one's yours.
    
    HUTCH: Naturally.
    
    WOMAN: It's pouring. Come on. Come on, Tiger. This is your favourite tree, now. Hurry up.
    
    HUTCH: You're not gonna believe this, but they found their favourite tree. It's me.
    
    WOMAN: Will you stop fooling around?
    
    HUTCH: Go on, Tiger. Get out of here.
    
    WOMAN: I'm not looking, so hurry up.
    
    STARSKY: Go get them, Tiger.
    
    WOMAN: You wanna be naughty? Go on. Okay, come on, but you better not wake me up later.
    
    STARSKY: Aren't you glad she sold her pony?
    
    HUTCH: Ha. Ha. HStarsky, check your left. We got company. You make him?
    
    STARSKY: I know our book from front to back. He ain't in it. Bingo.
    
    HUTCH: Is he carrying anything?
    
    STARSKY: No. Not that I can tell. I don't think they made a pass.
    
    HUTCH: How are they gonna get the junk out?
    
    STARSKY: Patience, patience. I don't know. Here comes Santa Claus, and I think he's carrying our present. What do you think?
    
    HUTCH: Beats the hell out of me. I guess we wait.
    
    STARSKY: Not very long. Check the upper balcony. Cute. Real cute. Police! Freeze!
    
    HUTCH: You, hold it! Hold it! Come on out of there.
    
    STARSKY: Mayday!
    
    (Zane and Cannell shoot.) 
    
    STARSKY: One of you men, call the police! 
    
    HUTCH: Wonder who he is.
    
    STARSKY: Was.
    
    
    **Interior - Night - Apartment Laundry Room**
    
    SUPER:How much longer you guys gonna be?
    
    STARSKY: Why?
    
    SUPER: You're not the only ones with a job to do. What should I do about the swimming pool? Think the filter will handle it?
    
    STARSKY: Handle what?
    
    SUPER: That blood's liable to throw that chemical balance off something fierce.
    
    STARSKY: I don't know nothing about swimming pools.
    
    SUPER: You're a cop, ain't you? I figured you know all about blood. The telephone's over there if you wanna call headquarters. And I'll be on the switchboard, but you gotta dial eight first.
     
    HUTCH: Thank you. 
    
    STARSKY: Fine. 
    
    HUTCH: Damn.
    
    STARSKY: What?
    
    HUTCH: That's it. That's what Fat Rolly didn't do. He didn't dial for an outside line.
    
    STARSKY: What are you talking about?
    
    HUTCH: When Fat Rolly was released, he made a phone call, but he didn't dial eight for an outside line. He dialled four numbers. Now, don't you see? That's an extension inside the building.
    
    STARSKY: Well, maybe he made a mistake.
    
    HUTCH: No. No way. He's been in that slammer more times than he can remember. He knows what to do to get an outside line.
    
    STARSKY: He could have forgotten. He was under a lot of pressure.
    
    HUTCH: Sure. Sure, he was under a lot of pressure. He knows who the trigger men are... and he knows there's somebody in the department that's setting us up.
    
    STARSKY: Wait a minute. Nobody in the department's setting anything. 
    
    HUTCH: ow did they know we had taken over on this stakeout? We called it in to headquarters. That's how they know. And somebody's feeding them our whereabouts every time we call it in.
    
    STARSKY: Wait a second. What you're saying is that Captain Dobey, or Henderson, or Dobey and Henderson, or Dobey and Steele, or Henderson and Steele or any one
    of nine million other guys who might try to kill us has a direct pipeline to the department?
    
    HUTCH: That's right. That's right.
    
    STARSKY: Who we supposed to report this to? I mean, who in the hell are we supposed to trust?
    
    HUTCH: The same people we always trust. Us.
    
    
    **Exterior - Night - Diplomat Apartments**
    
    STARSKY: Can you believe it?
    
    HUTCH: What?
    
    STARSKY: No rain.
    
    UUTCH: Yeah, it's clear as a bell.
    
    STARSKY: Couldn't have stopped two hours ago, huh?
    
    HUTCH: Hey, Starsky. Maybe somebody's trying to tell us something.
    
    STARSKY: Let's hope it's Huggy Bear, or we're in a lot of trouble.
    
    
    **Interior - Night - Galway Theatre**
    
    STARSKY: Hey. Isn't that the chick we busted last week?
    
    HUTCH: Yeah. She didn't say she was a movie star.
    
    STARSKY: Hey, I know that guy with the brown socks.
    
    PATRON: Shhh. 
    
    STARSKY: What does he think this is? An art museum?
    
    HUTCH: Excuse me. You know something, Starsky? She looked better dressed.
    
    STARSKY: Shhh. 
    
    HUTCH: Here comes Huggy.
    
    HUGGY: What it is? What's happening?
    
    HUTCH: Huggy, we thought maybe you could tell us.
    
    HUGGY: About what?
    
    HUTCH: Well, let's start at the top. Do you know two hit men, probably imported recently, that tried to burn us?
    
    STARSKY: And anything else you might happen to know about Dobey or Henderson
    or Steele or any other brother cops that might be moonlighting as bad guys?
    
    HUGGY: Starsky, I don't like to talk to cops about cops.
    
    STARSKY: Huggy, they tried to kill us. Us. They tried to put holes in our bodies where our bodies were not intended to have holes. So you'll talk to us now?
    
    HUGGY: Dobey's a pretty good cop, but he likes the ponies too much but he ain't on the take. And besides, he won't try to lay off or anything like that.
    
    HUTCH: What about Henderson?
    
    HUGGY: Henderson? Henderson has got too much bread to be on the take. Besides, he's engaged to some pretty high-class money. The DA's thing is like slumming,
    as far as he's concerned. Henderson's eye is on higher office. Hey, did you dig that? How did they do that? They... Did you...?
    
    STARSKY: Huggy. What about Steele?
    
    HUGGY: Steele? He's a pretty bad cat, man. I mean, he is very fond if a few working girls in the district. And let me tell you, he don't care for you two guys at all. 
    
    STARSKY: Yeah, well, he hasn't kept that a secret.
    
    HUTCH: Huggy, what about the hit men?
    
    HUGGY: The only two new guys I heard about were Zane and Cannell. But if they were after you, they would have got you.
    
    STARSKY: Huggy, we owe you.
    
    HUGGY: Get it on, mama.
    
    
    **Exterior - Night - Galway Theatre**
    
    STARSKY: You know Tallman said the same thing about those hit men.
    
    HUTCH: So?
    
    STARSKY: I'll tell you something, Hutch. When I was in high school, I played defensive back for the football team. And by the end of the season, we were unbeaten and the team we were playing was unbeaten. You got a dime? 
    
    HUTCH: Yeah. 
    
    STARSKY: And they had a black kid playing end for them. Warrant was his name. He ran 100 in 9.9. I couldn't keep up with him if I was riding on a cannonball. So the thing was, I couldn't afford to let this kid sucker me in, okay? They kept sending him into my area. He'd go running by me, and I'd go running after him.
    
    And then I'd start to listen, Hutch, because there's a sound that the
    crowd makes when the ball's in the air. It's kind of like 10,000 people
    getting hit in the gut at the same time.
    
    (on phone) Hello. Mr. Tallman, please. Detective Starsky here. It's urgent,
    and he'll want to be wakened. Thanks. (To Hutch:) And I could tell by that sound that the ball was in the air and that I'd been suckered. (on phone:) Mr. Tallman? Yeah, Detective Starsky here. One quick question. Those two guys you said couldn't miss us, their names, are they Zane and Cannell? Thank you. (To Hutch:) I just heard that sound, Hutch. - We've been suckered.
    
    HUTCH: What do you mean?
    
    STARSKY: Everybody says those two guys couldn't miss. Okay. I say they don't miss unless they're supposed to.
    
    HUTCH: Why were they supposed to miss? 
    
    STARSKY: Because whoever it was wanted to kill not you and me, but one or both of those kids that got splashed. Nobody's investigating those two murders. Everybody believes it was a case of mistaken identity. There are two dead bodies there that nobody gives a damn about.
    
    HUTCH: They were never after you.
    
    STARSKY:  Never. Well, do you buy it?
    
    HUTCH: I buy it.
    
    Starsky: Ahhhh. 
    
    
    **Interior - Night - Police Morgue**
    
    ATTENDANT: Well, let's see, 16. Sixteen, 16... Oh, here we are. Neat little figure she had. I wonder what her face looked like. I tell you, these young people today are really something. 
    
    
    STARSKY: Was identification made through her fingerprints?
    
    ATTENDANT: Yes, sir. Patricia Talbot, age 19, female, Caucasian. We used to call them "white." I can remember back in 1941...
    
    STARSKY: The autopsy turn anything up?
    
    ATTENDANT: Well, only that she was killed with a heavy weapon at close range and she was two months pregnant. No wedding or engagement ring. You fellows seen enough?
    
    HUTCH: Yeah.
    
    STARSKY: Can we see her personal effects?
    
    ATTENDANT: Oh, I don't think so. Her room-mate was checking them out at the front desk when you pulled in. She's probably gone by now.
    
    (Starsky and Hutch run out into main office.)
    
    STARSKY: Oh, miss? Miss? Are you Patricia Talbot's room mate?
    
    GRETCHEN: Yeah.
    
    STARSKY: Are those her personal effects?
    
    GRETCHEN: Why?
    
    STARSKY: Police officers. We'd like to take a look at them, please.
    
    GRETCHEN: Well, I don't know. I signed a receipt for them back there.
    
    HUTCH: Let me explain...
    
    STARSKY: Miss, what's your name?
    
    GRETCHEN: Knebel. Gretchen Knebel.
    
    STARSKY: Well, Miss Knebel...
    
    GRETCHEN: Ms.
    
    STARSKY: Ms. Knebel, we never knew Patricia. But she was murdered and we'd like to find out who did it. I think that makes us her friends too.
    
    GRETCHEN: Lots of cops say things like that.
    
    STARSKY: Yeah. A lot of cops also say, "Oh, what a beautiful morning", but you know the difference between the ones that know the melody and those that are just saying the words.
    
    GRETCHEN: Well...
    
    STARSKY: Thank you.
    
    GRETCHEN: Hey, how come the police didn't hang on to Patty's stuff?
    
    HUTCH: That's a good question. Why didn't the police hold on to Patty's stuff?  Hey, Starsky. I got a notion.
    
    STARSKY: Tell me.
    
    HUTCH: We assumed the department ran makes on the kids that were killed. What if they didn't?
    
    STARSKY: On my way.
    
    HUTCH: And check on Zane and Cannell too.
    
    STARSKY: Gotcha.
    
    SECRETARY: Got to dial 8 for an outside line.
    
    STARSKY: Thank you.
    
    HUTCH: Were you close personal friends with Miss Talbot?
    
    GRETCHEN: Nah. They just assigned us. We didn't take the same courses. I'm a phys. Ed. Major. She was taking pre-law.
    
    STARSKY: (on phone): I want a priority-one make on these individuals. Patricia Talbot, deceased.
    
    HUTCH: You said pre-law, right?
    
    GRETCHEN: Yeah. Not that she was a big book drudge, though but because lawyers are rich, and she said she always wanted a rich husband.
    
    HUTCH: She said that, huh?
     
    GRETCHEN: Me, I prefer a guy that's physically fit. You know what I mean?
    
    STARSKY: There's probably a long one on both Zane and Cannell. Yeah. Probably both a red file.
    
    HUTCH: Gretchen, do they ever have guest instructors at the university?
    
    GRETCHEN: Hardly ever in phys. Ed.
    
    HUTCH: How about pre-law?
    
    GRETCHEN: I don't know. I take phys. Ed.
    
    HUTCH: Oh, yeah. What's this?
    
    GRETCHEN: Class schedule.
    
    STARSKY: It's Henderson.
    
    HUTCH: Yeah, it's Henderson. How'd you know?
    
    STARSKY: I don't know how he got to her but listen to this.
    
    HUTCH: I do. Thanks, Gretchen. Thank you. He instructs a class that she took twice a week.
    
    STARSKY: Okay. Love happens. She blooms. She won't go away. She won't get rid of the kid. His marriage is coming up. He's got to get rid of the girl.
    
    HUTCH: What about Zane and Cannell? What did you find out? 
    
    STARSKY: He had them up on murder two. That's a tight rap. Charges were dropped
    by guess who?
    
    HUTCH: District Attorney Henderson. The kid who stole the Torino. What about him?
    
    STARSKY: On probation at request of...
    
    HUTCH: Henderson. So he gets the kid to steal the car and drive the girl down to the beach where Zane and Cannell wait to kill them.
    
    STARSKY: And Henderson gets everyone thinking that I was the intended victim.
    
    HUTCH: The Tallman trial has nothing to do with this.
    
    STARSKY: That's right. The whole thing, backing each other up, corroborating evidence, hogwash. It was all a front to get rid of the girl. 
    
    HUTCH: It fits. It fits. It all fits.
    
    STARSKY: I heard that sound, Hutch. The ball's in the air.
    
    
    **Exterior - Day - Outside City Hall**
    
    STARSKY: There's our boy.
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Inside City Hall**
    
    HENDERSON: Good morning, Charles. Miss Forsythe. Good morning.
    
    FORSYTHE: Oh, Mr. Henderson, there's a message for you here somewhere. Oh, here it is. A Mr. Zane Cannell called about half an hour ago. He said he must renegotiate, or there will be no trial. Thank you. 
    
    
    **Exterior - Day - Outside City Hall**
    
    (Starsky and Hutch follow Henderson to Zane and Cannell Hotel)
    
    STARSKY: Ah, we should'a stuck with my car. If he starts to take off, we'll never stick with him in this tub. You know what happens to us if this doesn't work? 
    
    HUTCH: It will work. It will work. 
    
    STARSKY: Come on. Come on. He's setting too far ahead. We gotta bust the light.
    
    HUTCH: Right. 
    
    PATROL OFFICER: Will you look at that guy? I wonder what colors he doesn't like besides red. Let's get him. 
    
    HUTCH: Starsk, I don't barking believe it. 
    
    STARSKY: Oh, boy. 
    
    HUTCH: Will you tell those yahoos who we are? 
    
    STARSKY: Lotta good that's gonna do. 
    
    STARSKY: Hey. 
    
    PATROL OFFICER: Hold It. 
    
    STARSKY: We're cops. Are you ready for this? Okay. 
    
    PATROL OFFICER: I'm sorry. Sergeant Hutchinson. 
    
    STARSKY: Look. I'm Starsky. He's Hutch. We're never gonna get him now. We lost him. 
    
    HUTCH: It's all right. I got him two blocks up on the left, hotel. I'll take the back. Stay in touch! 
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Hotel**
    
    HUTCH: Ready at the back. 
    
    STARSKY Elevator's heading up. I'm taking the stairs. 
    
    HUTCH: I got the fire escape. 
    
    STARSKY: He's on his way to three. 
    
    HUTCH: He's yours on four. On my way to five. 
    
    STARSKY: He's headed for the next floor. 
    
    HUTCH: Passing five. Looks like there's only a couple more stories.
    
    STARSKY: Remember how I said it was a toilet?
    
    HUTCH: Yeah.
    
    STARSKY: Well, somebody up there's flushing. 
    
    HUTCH: Past six. Seven's the lucky number.
    
    STARSKY: Seven. Seven. Come on, seven. Thank God.
    
    CANNELL: Who is it?
    
    HENDERSON: Henderson. Let me in. Making me come here was stupid. You two are dumb.
    
    ZANE: Look, prissy, you told us to contact you through Fat Rolly and that's what we did.
    
    HENDERSON: Then who sent me the note?
    
    CANNELL: What note?
    
    STARSKY: He's inside. Where are you?
    
    HUTCH: In position, Starsk.
    
    STARSKY: Police, open up!
    
    CANNELL: You lousy shyster creep! Over there!
    
    HUTCH: Hold it! Police!
    
    ZANE: Use him as a block. You set?
    
    CANNELL: Set.
    
    HENDERSON: No, wait! Don't fire!
    
    STARSKY: They're in the elevator, heading down! Move! Pull it around! They're headed for the garage!
    
    HUTCH: Gotcha.
    
    (Hutch roars in, in car. Gunfight ensues.) 
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Frankie's Gym**
    
    STARSKY: Hey, Frankie. What's happening?
    
    FRANKIE: What happened to the car?
    
    STARSKY: Hey, Frankie, don't criticize.  Custom job like this takes hours. It ain't cheap.
    
    FRANKIE: Neither is running a gym. Hey, Hutch? Here's your bill.
    
    HUTCH: Pay the man.
    
    STARSKY: Not again.
    
    HUTCH: I owe you.
    
    STARSKY: I don't even belong to this gym.
    
    HUTCH: Well, I'll make it up to you, Starsk. I'll take you to dinner.
    
    STARSKY: Can't afford it. Besides, I can't stand soybean steaks and wheat germ pies.
    
    HUTCH: It's good for you.
    
    STARSKY: Hey! I know this great chili place. The chili is so hot, it makes your ears smoke. You feel it going all the way down. That's how you know it's so good.
    
    HUTCH: Sounds terrific.
    
    STARSKY: It's on Broadway. It's hard to find so you'll have to follow me, dig?
    
    HUTCH: Yeah, I'll follow you.
    
    STARSKY: Good. Hey, Hutch. You wouldn't...?
    
    HUTCH: No, I'll follow you, Starsk. Trust me. I'll follow you.
    
    STARSKY: Hey, you'll love it. Hey, Hutch! Wait! Hey!
    
    END


End file.
